St. Valentine's Day

 I've already raided the cash drawer and have formulated a plan for hooking up with more weed.  Or maybe it's time to try to move on in life.  I have all this time, but I spend it sitting still dwelling on things that are pleasant and things that are not.  What could I be doing that's more productive: - Reading a good book: I don't have one picked out right now. The thing about a cartridge to vape is I feel like I have a grip on the present.  Without a cartridge, I feel like I have a better grip on the future. - Clean out a couple boxes in the basement. - Go for a walk - Go for a sauna - Do some work - Finish that internal spec - Write up some speckle results - Dig up that void data - Read the Bible!         

Written 2/15/22 I've been completely turned around for a fresh perspective in several of my more turbulent relationships by reframing the person as an NPC.  It works on my wife, on an annoying co-worker,.. I feel about as unhealthy as I've ever felt. All of the periodic medical tests that come back are normal.  This was particularly comforting for the Holter Monitor I had at the end of Jan. 2021.  It is shocking to see what my doctor has done with the information I've submitted to them.  I either I'm not particularly at risk of sudden death (which seems surprising to me) or they're very busy or caught off guard. I work with some real maroons!  Figured out my fundamental weakness: Rejection!  That's not something I'd be too interested in sharing with others. Most of them have figured it out anyway. I applied for a Dir. of Research position at work and they have yet to acknowledge my application after nearly a week!  Does everyone get such a cold recepti...

Catching up over the morning, more like. Today has a Day 1 feeling to it. The Dir of Res position at work seems to have been a phantom. One less thing to worry about, I guess. The good news was that the short term bonus was very high. $16k! Work could've just said right after my application what the situation was, but they let it wait there over the weekend until I asked about it on Day 5. They probably know what they're doing.

Written 2/14/22 St Valentine is somewhat known for a dual personality or identity. The heart has two lobes. The arrow through a bleeding heart is suddenly a very powerful symbol for me. First thing I've wanted to tattoo in years.

Written 2/18/22 I'm ready to start being a responsible person all the time. Today I slept through pickup! I'm ready to be in great health again. I'm ready to be awake again. I'm ready to curl up with a good book more. I want that book to be the Bible more. I love life so much. I'm so lucky to be where I am. I should stick around more before pulling the plug on this. Not disturb things too much. It's a good time for life to get slower. I realize that this time tomorrow I'll probably be desperate to find an excuse to leave the house long enough to restock.  But for the moment, it's a pretty positive quit and I'm looking forward to a chill long weekend and February Break.

Written 2/16/22 Who gets some crazy computer science award in 4-H? Then getting to state science fair and getting some runner up award there, then getting to ride the short bus from the Jr high to the high school to take Algebra II or maybe it was Geometry after getting a chance to absolutely rock Albegar I. I've been blessed all along. Today I caved and bought/had some poison. I may stop by the social club tonight, too. The problem with the poison is that it sometimes sparks a lot of thoughts I would have missed out on. They always seem like such losers, but these ones I've already talked through and I think they have legs: - Libs can't accept victory. Herd Immunity, we've arrived! Climate change would be the same if we nuclearized the grid and went carbon free. Would be fun to skip the battery generation all together and wait for modular nuclear. I'll go EV when the power generation is on board! How can I forego all those?